1:35 PM - Sunday, Aug. 22, 2004
Am I the only one?
Less than a month for the release of the Sims 2!!!
Dear god... I don't know if my headache is from allergies or from drinking last night. Here I am, rambling on the other day about how I don't drink, and what do I do last night? I play some trivia game at Buffalo Wild Wings, and drink 3 strawberry daquiries. Oh my god! They were so good. So nice and smooth. I could live off of them.
Yesterday I cleaned house. I mean, I tore this place apart from top to bottom cleaning every nook and cranny that I could find. Of course, I didn't clean the basement. I'm never down there. It probably needs a good dusting and vacuuming but that can wait. Then, about 3:30, my sister and her husband pick me up and we go to the Palace to see Napolean Dynomite. That movie was definitely worth the three bucks to see it. It was cheaply made, and it was hilarious. I can say that the food at the Palace was cheaply made, too... but it wasn't worth the 2 bucks. The pretzel tasted like plastic, and the Dr. Pepper was flat. C'est la vie!
Friday night I went to the Y to lift weights with Jenny, and then we went swimming. We swam 12 laps, and then had some fun going down this really twisted super-fast slide. I felt like I was going to fly out of the slide and up into the air the entire time. When I hit the water, it was hell. Water went straight up my nose. Next time I'm going to try to remember to plug my nose before I hit the water. After we got done having fun on the slide, we sat in the jacuzzi for awhile.
Ah, hell. The pressure from my sinuses are torture! I'm definitely going to have to move somewhere south where allergies won't bother me so much. Or... it's the cat. And I hope to god it's not the cat because she's just so cute and I love her. What I may have to do is go away for a couple of nights... maybe stay at my parents house for a weekend and see what happens to my sinuses then. I can tell you this... this is definitely the last pet I'm ever going to own. Especially if I get married and have children.
I chatted online for a bit on Friday night. I was going to do so on Saturday but for some reason this web connection is terribly slow. I know it's not my computer because everything else runs really fast, and I've cleared the cache and everything... Hmmm.. oh well. Maybe they're doing something to update their servers or something? Anyhow, I talked to Casey for awhile on Friday night, and then I talked to Cory after we got done chatting in the room.
I know Cory and I are just friends, but the intimacy we shared Friday night was intense. At least from my end, it was. Sometimes I think the reason we've been able to last this long is because we say we're just friends, but deep down I think we're a bit more than just that to each other. I think we know deep down that we're meant to be more, that fate has brought us together to be more, but we're afraid of admitting it completely until after we meet for the first time in person. I'm scared that what we share now won't be the same physically, but then there's a part of me that feels it will be so much more.
It's far too ironic the way we match up to each other to not be. Out of all the chatrooms in the world, we ended up at the same one finding each other. Our star sign and our Chinese sign are both compatible. Rarely do you find that with couples. He's everything I've ever wanted in a man. He's intelligent, confident, attentive, very masculine, and sexual. He has the blue eyes and the brown hair combination I love. He's taller than I am at 6'. He's an athlete, and a hard worker. I just know he and my dad would get along extremely well. It's very important to me that the man I end up with gets along with my dad. If they don't, I don't think I could extend the relationship, no matter how much in love with him I may be. You know, Cory reminds me a lot of my dad in so many ways. They have their differences, but they are quite a bit alike. I've always looked for my dad in the men I've dated, and so far the only one to match up almost completely to him is my friend... Cory, that is.
And I think I'm everything he's ever wanted in a woman. I'm intelligent. I'm sexual. I'm very feminine and confident. I want to take care of my man, while allowing him to take care of me, too. He prefers brunettes, and I'm naturally a brunette. And I know he'd love my body because when he describes what he loves about a woman's body.. I always think he's describing me. And we both want to travel and experience new things... and even though I'm shy... we're both social creatures so we'd have no problems going out to parties and the like. And I know he'd do the nerdy things with me if I wanted him too, while he knows I'd attempt things like golf for him. Plus, he likes younger looking women, and I look ten years younger than what I am. He's young looking too, and I love it when a man is young looking - but you can tell he's reached the state of being a man.
It's just.... it's kind of scary how perfect we are for each other. And I know that if we don't work out in person, he's still going to be one of my best friends for a lifetime. I care about him so much. I want him to be happy. And I don't think I'll ever lose this feeling deep inside of me that wants to take care of him. And when I make remarks about him that appear negative, I don't mean them to be negative. I just worry about him. I want to take care of him. And a part of me wants him all to myself, but until we both choose to take our relationship one step further, I have to learn to share him and appreciate the moments we have together.
Ahh.... Cory... look at what you do to me. Do I do this to you, too... or am I the only one?
