5:18 PM - Saturday, Mar. 12, 2005
Let's talk about sex, baby.
I just went to see Robots with my niece, nephew, and sister Angie. Loved the movie. Definitely.
Now on to other matters of the mind.
Where to start? I'll just do what I do best. I'll ramble.
I haven't had sex in God knows how long, and it's becoming a bit frustrating. I can go without it. I just have to fight the temptation to run out and find myself a one night stand.
Last Friday I went to buy some office furniture. The guy who sold me the furniture was CUTE. But, knowing my luck, he was also married. Then, the guy who delivered my furniture was also cute. Once again... married. The new culligan delivery guy? CUTE. Married. The new postperson? A woman. Married. The cute construction worker whose finishing up some parts of our building? Married. The DHL pick-up delivery guy? Cute. Married. I'm beginning to notice a trend here.
Either I'm attracted to married men... or married men have the qualities I look for in a significant other, but I'm far too late to grab me one that's even roughly my age. They're all taken.
And, as it stands... No. I'm not having sex again until I'm A) in a VERY significant relationship that's lasted at least six months before we jump down each other's pants.. or B) I'm married to the man and have dated him for at least six months.
If I'm worth marrying, then I'm worth waiting half a year for before we have sex together.
Where does that leave men like Cory and Casey?
Well, Casey has some growing up to do. Major growing up. He also needs to find himself. I can't be his emotional crutch. Plus, when he flirts with me in a sexual way, his words have a negative affect on me. I'm almost more turned off by what used to turn me on than turned on by it. I want to be Casey's friend. I don't want to be his significant other.
As for Cory? He'll always be my good friend. I'll always care about him a lot. But.. I want someone who wants me more than he wants anybody else. Granted, he gets the benefit of the doubt. He's in Minnesota. I'm in Kansas. He can do whatever he pleases with whomever he pleases up there. But if he truly wanted me the way I want to be wanted by the man I end up with, then he wouldn't even bother dating or fucking other women. That's my ultimatum. Take it or leave it. He'll leave it. I know he will. But that's the way the cookie crumbles. Besides, I want someone who stimulates me often so that I don't get bored with the relationship. As it is right now, I'm sliding towards boredom. I know that sounds terribly rude, but it's true. We talk on the phone often. He's been going through a lot of stress right now, as have I. But.. the sexual side is extremely lacking right now, and if I don't feel wanted or "taken care of" or whatever, I tend to begin looking elsewhere for what I want. I'm about to start looking elsewhere. Hell, maybe for once I'll actually give men here a chance. If I could feel attracted to one who isn't married yet, that is.
Now I'm tired. I think I'm going to go take a nap with Haley and Comet. I was going to write more, but there's always tomorrow while I'm doing the laundry.
You were probably looking for more of a racey entry with a lot of actual sex talk involved. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I'll be more in the mood to be sexual.
Until then... ta ta!
