7:51 PM - Sunday, Aug. 07, 2005
I'm so freaking depressed.
Okay. It's official. I'm depressed.
I spent the entire day curled up underneath a blanket avoiding the world and everyone in it. My grandma called me earlier in the evening and we spoke for about five minutes. I had to pretend to be cheerful and happy just so she wouldn't notice that I'm freaking depressed.
Cory called, too. He's read my diary. That kind of shocks me. It made me start to cry. We caught up a little bit, but neither of us had much to say. Then we hung up because he was on his way to the movies, and I had some crying to do.
I'm not talking about bawling or constant crying. Just emotional crying because I'm depressed. I am just so god damn fucking depressed.
I don't even feel like eating. All I want to do is sleep and sit inside my shower with the hot water scalding my skin. I stay in there until my skin is red and not just a hot pink because the pain feels better than the depression.
I'm going to have to drag myself through work tomorrow. If only it were winter time. Then I'd have an excuse to be so dead to the world.
I don't feel like typing anymore. I'm just making myself more depressed.
