2:17 PM - Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2005
words of love
I cannot believe how many people are applying for the receptionist job here. Hopefully they'll find somebody who doesn't go stir crazy and can handle the phones without feeling overburdened by it all. I'll be the backup receptionist as normal, but that's about it. I can't wait. Sometimes I feel guilty, as if I'm letting people down or something.. and other times I feel okay about it all. We'll just have to see what happens. I'm just hoping they hire somebody I like.
This morning I attended the funeral of my friend and hairdresser, Mary's, husband. He passed away from cancer of the lungs and brain. It was an extremely sad experience. I mean, I didn't know Lloyd, but I knew of him through Mary. He was an extremely kind man to her. He'll be missed by a lot of very dear and kind people whose lives have been touched by him forever.
Cory called me this morning out of the blue. I honestly hadn't expected him to call. It was good to hear his voice again. I worry about him, and I know that if I was there or he was here, I'd be more able to care for him. Especially when he slips and needs someone's support. He asked me last night why I put up with him. I told him it's because I love him. He said, "I love you, too." That's made my day completely happy - excluding the bit where I spent time at the funeral.
Joseph asked me last night if I said, "I love you" before hanging up the phone with him the night before. I told him, "No." In order for me to even get close enough to saying "I love you" to someone, I have to know them inside and out and truly feel a deep affection for them. I haven't even said "I love you" to Ryan, and I know him a thousand times better than I do Joseph. And I feel the upmost respect and love for Ryan, who is by far one of my closest and bestest friends. "I love you" isn't meant to be thrown around lightly. Anyhow, I thought it was just an odd thing to ask considering it took me two years before I even said the words to Cory.
Anyhow, it's time for me to get back to work.
