9:06 PM - Sunday, Sept. 12, 2004
I believe in yesterday...
Today is my parents' wedding anniversary. It's also the anniversary of the day that my cousin Ross was murdered. Thirty-five years ago, my parents said "I do" to each other in front of 50+ people. Five years ago today, I woke up knowing in the back of my mind that something was wrong. Five years ago I called up Phil in Canada and cried to him over the phone because Ross was murdered. Five years ago today, my parents were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. Five years ago today, my mother drove up to Topeka because Ross was on life support after being shot twice in the head and twice in the legs. Five years ago today was a long time ago.
Four years ago today, we mourned the loss of Ross. He would have been 18 years old. Three years ago today, chaos was happening around the country because of the events of 9/11 (Ross's birthday). Two years ago today, people around the United States were still talking about the day before - the one year anniversary of 9/11. A year ago today, Ross would have been living the life of an actual American adult. He would have been 21.
Sometime this year, the boy who killed Ross will be released from prison. He was tried, not as an adult, but as a juvenile. He crashed my cousin's 17th birthday party, began an argument with Ross, and would not leave the house when Ross asked him too. Instead, he and his friends began to fight Ross and his friends until this boy... this 15 year old gang member (whom I believe didn't commit the crime but took the fall for an older member of his gang) pulled out a gun and purposely shot Ross in the legs so he would fall to the ground immobile. After Ross fell to the ground in pain, the boy went forward, looked Ross in the eyes, said his words of hate, and shot Ross twice in the head. He was rushed to the hospital in a coma, and his body was left on life support until the hospital could locate people in which to donate his organs too.
The last time I saw Ross was in August of that year. He was standing in his kitchen with his nephew Tristian stirring up a batch of Kool-aid. He was 6'6" and still growing. He was a football player and a basketball player. He had dreams and ambitions to play basketball for KU when he graduated. He wanted to make it into the NBA so that he could buy his mother, my Aunt Janna, a new home. He wanted to take care of his mom. Instead, because he beat some gang members at a game of basketball in the park, they wanted their revenge in the form of taking his life. It was a senseless act, one I will never understand.
Five years ago on 9/11, as my family was returning from a KU football game, I had fallen half asleep in the back of my dad's car. As we were driving through Topeka, I stirred awake. In my mind came the thought, "Somebody has been killed tonight." I remember thinking those exact words, finding it odd to be thinking in those terms. I remember having a sense of dread inside my body, and looking at the clock. It read 11:48. Ross was shot at 11:48. I told my parent's I felt as if something bad had happened. They told me I worried too much. The next morning, my parents received the phone call from my family members about the incident. It was most likely the 100th time in my life I had experienced a psychic premonition towards somebody related to me.
I barely think about those events these days, but seeing that this is the 5th year anniversary, I couldn't help but dredge up the past. It all happened on a Saturday and Sunday, much like this weekend - which was the whole reason it entered into my mind.
I will never forget Ross. Sometimes I can't recall what he looked like unless I pull out a photograph. (I do that often with people I haven't seen in awhile.) Nevertheless, he's always somewhere in the back of my mind, standing awkwardly tall in his mother's kitchen... stirring a pitcher of Kool-aid for a three year old boy.
