12:44 PM - Sunday, Dec. 04, 2005
So it goes.
The water hits me hard, rushing through my hair and down my back like a thousand fingers massaging. I run my hands along the length of my body stopping only momentarily to cup my breasts. Smooth. Round. Sensitive to touch. I feel an ache inside, beating gently.
My mind wanders in a million different directions. Here. There. Everywhere. I'm on a plane flying towards a destination somewhere far away from here. And as I look outside the window, I can see more than fluffy white clouds, more than the rivers snaking their way through the land far beneath my feet, more than the ocean as it spreads itself out before me.
I remember the boat ride off of Cape Cod, the whale's body slipping into view only for a moment. How excited I felt when I was able to see it blow a gust of water up through the air. And just how insignificant I felt at that percise moment in the overall scheme of things.
7 Billion people live upon this earth. One dies and another is born. Some are born into wealthy families, others are born dirt poor. Some live long lives, while others only live long enough to catch a single breath. Babies are born addicted to crack and cocaine. Women and men alike are abused and beaten by their significant other. Teenagers run away from home only to end up on the streets selling their bodies. Children are sold into prostitution rings by their own families only to die of AIDS by the age of twelve. Babies are abandoned and left to starve to death. Women and men are violently raped. People are murdered.Wars are faught over politics, dictatorship, and religion. And the list goes on.
Species go extinct faster than it takes for me to heat up a meal in the microwave. Animals are on the brink of extinction, while other animals are being neglected and abused. Trees are falling down faster than we can replant them. And even this list goes on and on and on....
It reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago.. I'll post it here.
November, 2000 - Do you want to be homeless? I met a homeless man the other day. Do you know what he does with his life? He hides in trash bins when storms hit, eats the food people waste and throw away, pushes around a cart up and down the streets collecting cans and other recyclables just so he can get enough money to eat, or drink (and we all know the stereotype for that.) You might end up dead from the cold winters without proper clothing, illnesses that wreak your body with havoc. You don't know. Maybe you could end up arrested a few times, but that gets you nowhere but back out on the streets. Why? Because the government doesn't want to pay for your survival. Who knows? Maybe you were a Vietnam War vet who can't get his medication for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to lack of money and support from the people around you.Do you want to be a prostitute? How would you like to run away from home at the age of 12, end up living on the streets instead of in a home where the mother or father smashes your face in every night? You could walk the streets and be paid to give a man a blow job. You might end up in a hotel room beaten to a pulp after being fucked so hard you can't move your legs. Maybe you could end up dead on the side of the street another victim to drugs, murder or mayhem. Maybe even the victim to a serial killer.
Do you know that 95% of the world believes in some superior being? Sorry, but a myth is a religion people no longer believe in.. and a thousand years from now.. all of our religions will be nothing but a myth. Where will that leave you? As dead as the ancient Greeks who were into polygamy? "Thou shalt have no other gods besides me," the Bible states in the Ten Commandments. So where does that put the people who had more than one god? In eternal hell? Oh, I think not! The center of the earth may be warm and hot but hell does not exist nor does heaven. Your interpretation of the world around you is not justified until you experience it for yourself. So tell me I have lack of faith, that I'm condemned to hell because I just put down your god, your set of beliefs, your opinions. I bet you wouldn't guess that I'm a Roman Catholic.
You could be the person on the street corner who stands there lost looking around you from one side of the street to another. Your mind is gone. You don't remember how you came to the spot where you are or where you might be going. Your children worry about you. They want to lock you up in a rest home where somebody else can worry about you for them. You have Dementia, Alzheimer's, Amnesia. They can't deal with that. It makes them sad. All they want to do is be happy. "Fuck you," in other words.
"I am the voice inside your head", NIN tells us. When did they become so wise? (And I'm not saying this to be sardonic.) Where is the voice that should be in certain peoples heads when they do something society sees as unjust? And is it really unjust or do we just hate the pain it causes therefore marking it taboo so we don't have to feel the pain, so we can feel our sweet revenge?
Rape. A Four Letter Word. Do people sit around and talk about the weather after it's happened to them? "Hey dad, it's cold outside. I'm shivering. Oh by the way. Last night I was raped." Rape me, my friend. Famous words from Nirvana. Yes. Just rape me. Take it all from me now.
Tomorrow I'll wake up and it will be like today which was a lot like yesterday. "So it goes."
And so it does....
