9:50 PM - Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2006
Ah... back to the books. YAY!
I am going to LOVE my spring semester. I can feel it now. All my professors are female, and at least two of them seem very fair and likeable. I know my Domestic Violence teacher is awesome. My Tuesday night class is going to probably end up being my favorite one. You know, I seem to have such great semesters at WSU. The people are friendly, the professors very laid back... I almost wish I had gone to WSU back when I was a freshman.
Here in Wichita, we have two places where domestic violence victims can go to receive help and shelter. I'm going to see if I can volunteer my Saturdays and Sundays to the Catholic Charities one. Perhaps they'd give me an internship or something that I can put on my future resume. I've already decided what I want to do. I want to volunteer my time in helping people, and I want to possibly teach at the University level. I'd love to do night classes and be one of those cool professors everybody loves.
The more I grow up, the more I seem to gain a knack for speaking up in class and communicating my thoughts without hesitation or stutters. I mean, lately, I've been the one to take the first step in opening up conversations and being willing to present group presentations and stuff. Perhaps I was meant to be a public speaker. I just didn't know it because my body was wracked with anxiety. But now that the anxiety is gone? Hell, step aside Mr. Charismatic. Here I come!
It's times like this when I tend to feel invincible, like I could do anything in the world and nobody can stop me. When I share my experiences, I realize just how much of life I have lived compared to the vast majority of people out there. I mean, I always talk about wanting and loving to travel... and believe it or not, I can actually say I've been to more places, seen and done more things than a lot of people that exist in this world. And while I feel like I haven't been far enough or seen enough of the world, I have to take a step back and remember that a lot of people don't even get the opportunity to leave their own state.
Some people think it's no big deal to do little things... like go to a restaurant and eat by yourself, go to the movies alone, travel long distances alone... Take classes without hiding away in a book just to avoid the rest of the people in the class. I've always had problems with that. It's hard to explain the emotions that used to reside inside of me to people who have never experienced social anxiety. But now? Now I do these things. I push myself to do them. I make myself go to a restaurant and eat alone. I make myself buy a movie ticket and watch random shows by myself. I push myself to travel alone... and I've pushed myself to take classes and strike up random conversations. And by pushing myself to do these things.. it fills me with such a deep sense of accomplishment and pride.
Anyhow, I had an extremely long day today so I'm going to slide on into bed.
Random Fact About Jessica: I'm VERY allergic to cats even though I own two of them.
