4:55 PM - Wednesday, Apr. 05, 2006
No More Bills
I don't know why Davy thinks I need a lobotomy, but he does. What's up with that? I think my brain is in perfect working condition... or maybe, since I think that.. just maybe that means I'm actually insane or something! That's completely messed up.
So, I got rid of Bill. I've decided that from now on, there are going to be no more bills in my life. Except for B.S., but only because he's related and he brings me chocolate long johns at work. Other than that, no more bills. Well, okay. Maybe one other kind of bill... the green kind, but besides that, NONE. No more. Nada. I deleted Bill from my life and I want nothing more to do with him. I told him he could delete me from My Space if he wanted too, but that I was only leaving him up so I could have a higher number of friends. He deleted me, which really is for the best seeing that I want nothing to do with him.
My mom asked me last night how things were going with Bob. I told her, "His name is Bill, and he's a moron." She asked me why and I told her why. She didn't like my reasoning behind it so I said, "Okay. He didn't want to have children someday." I told her that to shut her up about Bob... er... Bill. She hasn't bothered me since. She did say that she's afraid I've become far too selective. Well, maybe I am picky, but I really don't want to end up with a wife beating cheating non-communicative gay hating racist chauvenistic pig uneducated moron whose IQ is only 119. Enough about Bill. I'm sick of talking about him.
I was in class last night for Domestic Violence and I learned a few things that have made me sick to my stomach. We watched videos taped here in Wichita that were used in court to convict husbands of abusing their wives. One that stood out the most to me was filmed at Quick Trip. We basically watched how this woman came into the store, payed for her stuff and didn't want to leave. Her husband came in and started to beat the crap out of her right in front of everyone. He dragged her outside and continued to beat her to the ground. It was enough to make anybody sick.
But it didn't end there. No... we watched a woman who was a fast food restaurant worker get beaten behind the counter by her angry boyfriend in front of a bunch of employees who just sat there and guffawed. And then we listened to a 911 tape of a young girl from California named Lisa. She was 6 years old at the time and she called in her step-father who was in the middle of abusing her mother. It was surreal. If you google California Lisa 911 you can come across MP3s or recordings of the 911 call.
We also looked at pictures of children and wives who had been beaten. One woman was beaten within an inch of her life, and as the paramedics took her to the hospital, she kept saying that her husband didn't do it. The entire thing made me so sick to my stomach, I'm still feeling the after affects.
It takes a real strong person to have to deal with things like that on an everyday basis. As for me, I don't think I have the patience to help victims of domestic violence. Makes me wonder if I have the stomach to help victims of rape.
It has really caused a lot of my future plans to go into limbo. Is this really want I want to do? Do I really want to wake up every day of my life and work with people with whom I don't have enough patience for? Not only that, but do I still want to get my Masters in Sociology? I really need to start answering these questions because it would be a waste of good money to go into the program only to find out its not what I really want to do.
As for being rejected? Well, I've only been rejected twice this year, and if you think about it.. W.B. really rejected me at the end of the year last year so I've only been rejected once this year.. and in the end I'm the one who said, "you know what? I don't really like this guy." and got rid of him.
In other news, David wrote me today. He told he's extremely busy with work and fixing his new house up. He still hasn't made any remark about a significant other, and I'm afraid to ask. I don't want him assuming that I want him back or something. I'm just curious because I care, and, well... a part of me just really wants to know.
I have so many questions going on in my mind right now, and I really need to look up a shrink or something to help me figure out how to answer them all. And to figure out what some of the questions are because they are there, but I can't seem to word them and get them out in the open.
