3:10 PM - Saturday, Jul. 29, 2006
one seven deadly sin
A lot of personal stuff is going on right now. Stuff I can't really talk about because of the ramifications it may cause. I'll just say that it has to do with the company and a bunch of greedy and spiteful men. And the worst thing is, I considered one of these men my friend. But since it has boiled down to choosing sides, I have taken the side of my father. Of course, there was no question there. I'm so loyal to him that I sometimes let my pride get in the way of difficult situations.
Enough about that. I don't want to end up saying too much about it.
I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that I was getting married. I kept running around the church while the guests were gathering trying to find all the pieces to my wedding dress. Somehow, it turned into an alternate version of Cinderella where I was forced into a room with a man who was trying to escape conviction for some crime he had committed, and my prince kept banging on the heavy wooden door trying to break it down in order to rescue me. The kidnapper kept telling me he wasn't going to hurt me, yet, I kept trying to open the wooden door but it wouldn't budge.
Suddenly, the dream switched over to something else. I was watching people die. And they weren't just dying, they were getting murdered. However, all of the murders were set up in such a way that they all looked like suicide. In fact, one of the boys I watched die seemed to willingly jump from off a tall building into a huge barrell of water. As he sunk to the bottom of the barrell from the speed, his legs were caught inside a fan that swirled around and chopped him to pieces. It was like that fan from Willy Wonka's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Charlie and his grandpa drink the bubble soda and start to rise up towards the top. I remember standing over the barrell and watching the water turn brownish red... and somehow I knew deep inside the boy didn't do it willingly. Somebody had held him down, not allowing him to resurface to the top.
And then the dream switched again. I was sitting in some room with a bunch of people, my guitar in my lap. I started to play my guitar slowly. As if by magic, my fingers played out some country song that I knew the words too. The song just came to me as if I had been playing the music for years.
This is when I must have experienced sensory overload because my brain registered the music as if was really playing.. and it wasn't in my dream at all. You know how dreams are... the words, sounds and images are cloudy as if you're surrounded in a fog only seeing bits and pieces. Well, the images and the words remained fuzzy, but the music played in my head as real as this very moment. I can't describe it any other way.
Anyhow, after that I woke up... and now I'm off to grab some food before I settle in to study for my final exam.
Jessica's favorite song of the moment: Halo by Haley James Scott (One Tree Hill character)
