5:11 AM - Thursday, Sept. 28, 2006
Flavor of the month
I know. I know. It's 5 AM on a Thursday morning, but I actually went to sleep at midnight last night. Whenever I do that, I tend to wake up at around 4 AM. This morning proved no different; and seeing that I had a severe sinus headache, I climbed out of bed to wait for my "Excedrin for sinus headaches" to kick in.
All right. I'm a bad person. I know I haven't written in six whole days, nor have I been faithful to my diary lately. I was thinking about that yesterday at work, and I've come to the conclusion that it's most likely because there is a lot less drama going on in my life right now. I could bore people with mundane ramblings but what fun would that be?
I was reading up through some of my old entries (not for pleasure.. actually for a purpose which I will get to later) and I noticed that almost all my old diary entries revolved around my relationships with Casey, Cory and David. Since David is out of my life for the most part and I barely speak to Casey anymore, there isn't much to say about them. And over the last year, my relationship with Cory has changed significantly. I can't tell you if it's for the better or not, but it's definitely different and less emotional on my end.
There are some things I've neglected to write about in my diary that I would also like to mention. Over the summer I referred to somebody as the "unattainable one." He was unattainable because he is married. When I first met him, he neglected to mention this fact to me. However, I did know that he was also dating somebody else and that he was mixed up between his emotions for her and me. I must have been desperate for affection because I fell for this situation hook-line-and-sinker.
Then I found out he was also married, very unhappy and wanting a divorce. Somehow, my affections for him led me to become somewhat of a marriage counselor to him as he dealt with his issues. I had already decided mentally that nothing would ever come between us and that the man just needed a friend to listen to him. So that's what I did. I listened.
Over the summer I found out he also had two little girls. And he also would try to feed me intimate lines of pure bullshit.. the same lines he fed to the other girl he was (and still is) dating. I suddenly lost all respect for him. Not only was he "playing" me, but in my opinion he was also (and is) playing this girl. The only difference is, I wasn't really played because I didn't fall for it. - My friend Ryan is proof of that because he knows about the entire situation. - And on top of all of that, he admitted to still having sex with his wife.
So, not only was this man messing around with me and this other girl, he was playing his wife, fucking up his marriage, and basically destroying the future happiness of his two little girls in the process by being affectionate to other women on the phone (maybe even in person) right in front of them. I was appalled. How could I respect myself if I stayed friends with him? And on top of that, how can any woman with any self-respect for herself decide to remain "the other woman" in his life? Yes, he supposedly filed for divorce. BUT the facts are: 1. he's always going to be a part of his current wife's life, 2. he has two little girls that he adores and he might possibly stay in the situation just for them, 3. he's still sleeping with his wife so his feelings for her haven't completely disappeared (if they had, I believe he would only be sleeping with the other woman), and 4. he lied. He lied about being married and didn't mention it until he had to... so how can anybody trust someone who keeps such things a secret until the secrets been revealed?
But I digress. Let the love triangle he's created remain a triangle instead of becoming a square. I would never let myself be subjected like that by anybody, let alone a man.
Now, there are a few other things I'd love to mention in here but the situation hasn't completely unfolded yet. It's in the process of unfolding so as soon as it does I'm going to write up an entry letting everyone know what has happened. It's work related and it involves FAG (not to be confused with the derogatory gay term. The initials actually stand for this particular person's name - just so you know. I should probably start referring to him as something else so people don't end up taking offense, come to think of it.). Anyhow, it's the only drama I've been experiencing lately and it will be interesting to see what evolves out of the situation. I can't wait to watch the rest of it unfold so look for me to be updating about that very soon.
Today is my niece Megan's 7th birthday. We had a party last night to celebrate as a family. My god, how time flies. It feels like it was just yesterday when she was born.
Oh, and to update you on little Allie... her finger is doing fine. In fact, she's bounced back wonderfully and doesn't seem at all affected by it. She was affected by it the first day after the accident because the finger had to be bandaged. She kept lifting her hand up and saying, "Joe. Rock." Now, whenever something doesn't go her way, she can't find something she's looking for, or something along those lines.. she puts the blame on Joe even if he had nothing to do with it. It's cute and funny right now because she's so little... but hopefully that doesn't become a life-long ordeal.
Okay, I'm off now. My sinus headache medicine has finally kicked in and I want to catch at least another hour of sleep before my alarm goes off. And like I said... expect some entry very soon concerning the unfolding issue at work. It's a bunch of crap... it's dramatic... and hopefully (oh, dear god, HOPEFULLY!!!!) it eventually leads to the one thing I've been praying and hoping for over the last four or five years.
Random Fact about Jessica: My friend Rye Rye is my Memo Pad. I tell him to remember something for me because I know I'll forget it but he never does. Oh, and Rye Rye... don't forget to remind me to make a Drs. Appt., and get my driver's license renewed. Thanks! HA HA HA.
