9:38 AM - Friday, Dec. 29, 2006
Random Thought
I am sick and tired of sitting here asking myself, "Okay. What's wrong with me?" The truth is, I wasn't even rejected; yet because he didn't fall passionately in love with me, I'm sitting here abusing myself mentally. And the funny thing is... I'm not even physically attracted to the man!
I will admit that I am somewhat attracted to his personality... but I'm not sure if I'm attracted to his intelligence or if I've become attracted to him because he can be such an asshole. Maybe that's why so many women end up with assholes. Its the whole, "You want what you can't have" bullshit. Its like, the more abuse I receive, the more obsessed I become. Although, trust me. I'm not obsessed. This time, I am moving on. I know better. I expect better. I deserve better.
And to top all of that off, I'm in PAIN today. I feel like I have a billion or so needles and pins stabbing me hard where my ovaries are. Yay. I have so much to look forward to.
Okay. I'm off to actually put my lazy butt to work.. yawning the entire day away.
