9:05 PM - Saturday, Jan. 13, 2007
beautiful
Avelino arrived around 4 PM on Thursday. We went back to my house to drop his stuff off and then I gave him a lovely tour of the town of Wichita. I kept telling him to be prepared for a culture shock, but he said that it was a lot nicer than he was expecting. The thing that shocked him the most were the low gas prices. That amused me tremendously.
We ended up having dinner at The Olive Garden. Neither one of us opened up the menu so I asked him what he was having. He said, "Anytime I go to a place like this, I get the same thing. What are you having?" I responded, "That's how I am too. I always get the same thing, also. I'm having the Fettuccini Alfredo." I'm not kidding you over the fact that his jaw dropped open. He said, "No shit?" I was like, "yeah, why?" Then he was like, "that's what I always get!" That's when my jaw dropped. We both decided to get the Fettuccini Alfredo. He bought the one with shrimp, I bought the one with chicken, then we split it between the two of us. It was funny to hear that there is another human being out there who isn't fond of the red sauce.
After dinner, we came back here and we watched television. We went to bed about 11 PM because we were both tired by that time. Friday we woke up early and we spent the entire day just hanging out. All we did was listen to music, watch television, toss my racquetball back and forth and talk. It was really relaxing and enjoyable. I asked him if he wanted to do anything like go out to eat or something but he said he was happy just hanging out doing nothing with me. We ended up ordering in pizza because the streets were getting icey and it was starting to snow.
I took him to the airport this morning after we burned him some CDs of my music. It was hard saying goodbye to him because he has one of those personalities where you just automatically fall into some comfort zone with him. He told me he'd be back out to see me and that if I ever travelled to Boston again, I would have a place to stay.
Life's funny, don't you think? I've never been much of a risk taker unless I felt something pushing me to take that risk... and the one time when I don't feel that push but I take the risk against my better judgement, I find myself not getting involved with the man I went on vacation with but running into a complete stranger who has become so much to me all ready. I feel we are going to be extremely good friends for the rest of our lives.
I found out where he received his name. He was actually born in Cape Verde off the coast of western Africa. He didn't move to the states until he was 8 years old. I thought that was pretty cool to learn, as well.
Anyhow, even though CM and I barely talk anymore - if at all -, I'm glad I took the trip to Boston. An extremely good thing came out of the experience, and I'm grateful for it. Sure, CM may make me feel like shit now, but while Ave and I won't be serious with each other because of the long distance, he does make me feel beautiful when we're together. He does this by making me like myself. What more could I ask for?
He's the whole reason I went ahead and updated my pictures on My Space. How he did it, I don't know... but he convinced me I was worthy, something I didn't completely feel inside.
And now, with sending my picture to Ofer and Davy and having both of them compliment me... and having some of my friends compliment the picture on My Space... I can't help but feel even better about myself. It's really helping me out right now. I mean, I get so wrapped up in my disorder that I feel ugly and crappy half the time.. so it just.. it just feels good to have people saying nice things to me. I've always had low self-esteem and its always been associated with what my disorder causes my body to go through... but this feels good. I think this time I can actually manage to come out of this okay.
Well, enough rambling on my part. I'm going to go slide into my comfy chair and watch some telly.
