12:17 PM - Monday, Oct. 25, 2004
I take one cuz you left me.
For all the men out there who have left me, I don't blame you. I'm a disease that there's no cure for. Look at how emotional I am all the time. It fucking sucks.
So, here it is. I couldn't fall asleep at all on Saturday night. I tossed and turned under the covers for at least two hours. Why, you may be asking yourself. I'll tell you why, but I'm pretty sure you knew I would.
1. I haven't heard a peep out of Nic for a long long time. I wonder if he's still alive and kicking, how he's dealing with the stress in his life, and whether he's tried to reach me or not lately. I've checked his online journal and he hasn't updated it in well over a month. Where is Nic???
2. I need to call Ryan, the ever-so-wonderful 'yan man. I haven't talked to him in forever either. I've seen that he's tried to call me by checking out my caller I.D., but I guess I was either passed out and dead to the world or not at home when he called because I would have answered it had I known he was calling. I need to call Ryan!!!
3. I'm so tired of being tired. I sleep all the time because of my medications, and when it comes to the important things like getting to work on time, I struggle to even crawl out of bed. And I can't seem to sleep during the hours when most people sleep right now because I'll sleep all damn day. I am so tired of being tired!!!
3. By the time 4 AM crawled around, Cory still hadn't called me. What the hell is up with that? So, I debated with myself for a good twenty minutes on whether to call him and say, "Fine. Don't call me when I need you. See if I fucking care." or just toss and turn and attempt falling asleep. Since I couldn't fall asleep thanks to my mind that won't stop thinking... I called him. I left him a message that basically said, "fuck this." Not even ten minutes later he calls me back saying, "You never call this late. Obviously something's wrong. What's up?" What's up?? What's up?? Couldn't he have called me on Friday or even on Saturday during the day to ask me what's up? But anyhow, we argued for a tiny bit.. he dominated the conversation with what he was busy doing while also giving me advice and such on the things that were seriously bothering me... and by the time 8:00 AM came around, I was well again. And I was finally able to fall asleep.
4. I think that's really about it. I should get back to work now. BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
