Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

8:57 AM - Friday, Oct. 29, 2004
four for my headaches
I've had the strangest dreams lately. And I can't remember any of them. I just know that they've been taking place in or at the office. Like, last night.. I dreamt about the bricks outside on the steps, and how I kept trying to push them back onto the cement because they were coming off. I do remember that. Oh, now I remember somewhat the rest of the dream. Oddly, the company had hired two new people.. and both of these new people were like interns or working for the accounting department or something... and because of certain people in the office, they decided to hate me too. And I got into a fight with somebody. Of course they went bonkers while I rationally tried to speak to them about how immature it was to fight when there wasn't a real reason to be so full of hate. And then I woke up.

And when I woke up it was 4 AM. I lay in bed for awhile thinking about Cory and how he hadn't called me back yet. And I thought, "Is he trying to tell me something?" And the only reason I thought that was because Jenny bought this book that tells you all the signs of what a guy does when he's not interested or he doesn't want anything to do with you... and one of the reasons was that he doesn't call you back. But then, strangely, 4:30 hits while I'm tossing and turning and the phone rings. Of course, he thinks he woke me up, but I was like.. "no.. I woke up five minutes ago." So it's just really strange how I was thinking those thoughts and then wham... he calls. Of course, I know he works late hours and goes out with his friends afterwards a lot. So why was I even thinking doubtfully? He's never given me a reason to doubt him. Maybe I was just anxious for him to call. I don't know.

I couldn't go back to sleep for awhile after getting off the phone with him. My mind was filled with thoughts I wanted to write down. I was only able to remember a portion of this poem that I wrote in my head directly after I hung up the phone.

How will it feel

the first time
I lay eyes on you?

Will I fall in love...

with your smile,
drown in your crystal blue eyes,
melt inside your warm embrace,
lose myself in our first kiss?

Now I wish I could remember the rest of the poem. Hopefully it will come to me later on.

You know, what is the point of working long tedious hours only to have them take at least $200 of my hard earned money out of my freaking pocket for taxes? And if I made just that much more, they'd take out even more money! Let's see... $50 something for Social Security... $75 for Federal, $25 for state, and $15 for MC... whatever that is. And people say, "oh, but you get it back at the end of tax season." Whatever. You don't even get 1/4 of it back. I mean, I had to pay Kansas $14 last year, and the federal government only returned $300 or something like that. I am a starving single American woman with a mortgage. I can't afford to pay out the ass every paycheck. If it weren't for my dad giving me $500 a month of tax free money, paying for my car and health insurance, and all the medical bills the insurance doesn't cover, I'd be in the freaking poor house. And to think that he gets taxed severely just because he's in the upper class... It's an unfair world out there, and yet the people who don't make good money still bitch about the people who make more money than they can imagine.

Well, I got here on time to get my Chocolate Long John from Bill. He brought three of them this time, and they're all gone. No, I didn't eat them all. I only had one. I was just lucky enough to grab the one I did. I've been trying to tell him just how popular they are. I think he'll catch on sometime soon that chocolate covered doughnuts are the best.

I'm listening to Kyrie Elaison. Good song, I say. Good song. And while I'm listening to that, I'm doing my boring ass work. I'm the only one at the office right now. Everybody else took off for lunch, and I'm sure they won't be back for a good 2 hours. Not that I'm complaining. I prefer it when they're all gone.

Anyhow, I'm going to jump to another entry. I have something I want to write.

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!