12:30 PM - Monday, Nov. 29, 2004
those were the best days of my life...
I have a lot of catching up to do after the vacation and then holiday weekend I had. I'm taking a break from it all for a few to write this entry, though. If I don't take a break from it right now, I might go insane.... literally.
I received a phone call from Davy on Friday or Saturday night. Wow, I can't remember. The entire weekend ran together for me. It had to of been Friday. Yes, I think it was. I haven't spoken to him on the phone in AGES. It was wonderful to hear from him. We talked until 8:30 AM Saturday morning. He sounds really good.
I spent Friday shopping with my grandparents, and then ended up spending all day Saturday filling out Christmas cards. On Sunday my mom came over and we went shopping for things to put up around my house inside and out for Christmas. Brian came over to help me hang up the lights on the roof, and man oh man... I have random twinkling colored lights. It's so exciting. I've always wanted twinkling colored lights. We went to eat at Timberline for dinner, and then I spent the rest of the night on the phone with 'yan. It was a pretty good weekend, if I do say so myself. I didn't want to return to work.. but you have to earn your money somewhere.
Cory called me for a few minutes on Saturday. He said I sounded chipper and happy. I told him that I need to distance myself from him for awhile because I don't want to become attached or far too dependent upon him. He said he understood, but I doubt he really knows for certain why I need to pull away from him. He'd argue with me if I told him completely why. Besides, he's already proven to me that I can't depend on him. He told me on Saturday that he'd call me on Sunday night. He didn't call. Honestly, I didn't think he would... but he's one of those that you never know if he will or not. Both Davy and Ryan think he's using me and that he's the one in control of the relationship and when we get in touch with each other, etc. etc. etc. Two weeks ago I would have argued with them over that, but anymore... who knows? They're both looking at it from an outsiders perspective, especially Davy.. so you can't take what they say with a grain of salt.
Today is Cory's 31st birthday. I know I should call him and tell him Happy Birthday because that's the nice thing to do, the friendly thing to do, and no matter what happens to the future of our friendship, I'm not going to change being nice just because he has the ability to hurt me, to numb me inside, to fill me with doubt.... Yes, I should call. It's the right thing to do. I'll call when he's at work so I can just leave a message on his answering machine. Unless he's not working tonight? Hmmm... maybe if I call right now he won't answer and I can just leave a message, short and brief.
This weekend, I also received a phone call from a man that I once met in a chatroom a long time ago. He's 43 years old and has children only about 7 years younger than me at the least. He called, and of course the conversation turned sexual on his side. I didn't egg it on. I didn't contribute to it. I once again tried to change the subject, but it didn't do any good. It's almost as if the only thing men think about truly is sex. I am so sick of men who revolve everything around sex.
Just got off the phone with Cory. Seems he's extremely sick, so sick in fact that he even skipped out on going to the Vikings game yesterday. I said, "Thanks for the phone call last night." And he said, "I was sick. I even called in sick to work." And I said, "you could have called me and said, 'I'm not feeling good. I'll talk to you later.'" And he said, "Give me a break, I was sick! I didn't even go to the Vikings game." Okey dokey...
Well, I better get back to work before the men return from lunch and wonder why I don't have the deposits done.
