Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

11:07 AM - Thursday, Feb. 03, 2005
Let my love open the door....
I feel sick to my stomach today. I stayed home yesterday because I still didn't feel good. I heard from Henry, the postman, that the guy in the office below ours was out with this stuff for six days. That's 2 days longer than me.

Anyhow, most people are ignoring me as usual. Nothing's going to change. I can feel it in the air. The moment I knew I had to come back to hell, I felt worse than what I felt staying at home being sick. I might as well go shoot myself in the head.

I asked my dad, "if I were to relocate out of state, would you help me settle?" He said he would, but he didn't want me to leave. I think the only way I'm ever going to find my happiness is by breaking away completely from the family that binds me here. I'm not talking about breaking away from them completely, but I'm talking about finding my own way in life away from Kansas, away from them, and away from this whole experience. I could argue with myself that this is just running away, but perhaps that's just an excuse to hold off on the inevitable.

I just got back from Wendy's. I had ordered a drink and a hamburger. After I paid my money and got my cash, I drove off. This is, of course, without my hamburger. So I had to turn around and go back and make an ass out of myself to get my hamburger. Luckily I had my receipt.

God, I am so freaking hot in this sweatshirt I wore today. I thought it would be nice and cool, but it's not. It's freaking spring like weather outside. Later on, once my mom gets done doing what she's doing at her school, we're going to go over to the new building to check out the progress.

I'm still very uncomfortable in this office chair.

I think I'm going to go insane.

I need a drink. Enough with this for now.

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!