Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

12:22 PM - Thursday, Jul. 29, 2004
Daddy's Little Girl
I wasn't going to add an entry today, but I decided... what the hell! I might as well. (And no, I didn't intend for that to rhyme, people. I haven't written a poem in eons.) In fact, I haven't written much of anything for a very long time. I just don't feel any inspiration. All I want to do is write in this diary, read my books, and jibber jabber with friends. Maybe I'm going back in time to when I was a teenager and doing the whole teenage thing over again. Sometimes I think that I never did do that (high school) correctly.

I checked my e-mail yesterday after I logged off this thing, and found an e-mail from Cory. He had read my diary. About 12:40 AM, he calls me up on the phone. His new cell phone came in the mail yesterday; and true to my wishes, I was the first one he called. We talked for awhile about one of the entries on here, and he said that the entry made him sound one dimensional. Such is not the case! Cory's far from one dimensional. If he were only one dimensional, I wouldn't adore him so much.

But, anyhow, it did bring home the fact that our relationship has come to a point where it's not growing. And like he said, if it doesn't grow, the relationship becomes stagnant and might possibly die. We both don't want it to die. We both want it to grow. So, we're going to focus on the friendship aspect. Afterall, we both believe that we'll be talking to each other until one of us gets married. And maybe even afterwards if our individual spouses can be open to the relationship.

I wanted him so bad last night, but he kept denying himself to me. He made me hold a long (more than an hour long) conversation with him, which also consisted of watching some television, too. It was really endearing. This is one of the reasons I find myself adoring Cory. He truly listens, and he attempts to improve things showing that he cares enough to consider another person's opinion on things. After about two hours, he finally gave himself to me. He took good care of his little girl last night. Let me tell you.....

Well, on to other things. Ha ha!

One of the things we talked about last night had to do with Cory when he was 26. He told me about how that was the age he was when he went through some serious life changes. I've been thinking a lot about that, about how my brother is over in Europe trying to find himself... how for years I struggled to find myself, too.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that most people don't find their "place" until they are in their 30s. Or, they at least find more content acceptance in what fate has dealt them thus far.

I formed a letter in my mind to send to Scott about how he's not alone in the search for the 'self', and how the answers he's seeking will find him, instead of the other way around. I haven't written the letter. I'm afraid to upset him by accidently saying the wrong thing. But, I would love for him to know that he's not alone, and that this phase in his life will pass. I want to tell him that he should see all the good that surrounds him, how these good things help define the man that he is. I'm sure he knows how good he has it. He's the type of guy to value all that is in front of him. I guess it's just the older sister in me that wants to offer him something, even if the something I offer him is common sense to both of us.

My ears are feeling two times better today. I am on a miracle pill! YAY!

I received a note from one of Davy's friends through this Diary that really made my day. She signed the note A., so I have a feeling I know who it is. I've seen Davy mention her in his journals from time to time. Her random act of kindness is much appreciated. I can't begin to explain how sweet the gesture was, and how its put a smile across my face. As soon as I can, perhaps this weekend, I'm going to check her diary out. I read one entry so far (the most current), and I think she has a beautiful way of expressing herself. I can't wait to read more about her.

Well, my lunch hour is up. As much as I would love to continue rambling on, I better not. Of course, there's more to come in the future. I'm way too addicted to expressing myself on here.

Oh, before I sign off here.... the Sedgwick County Zoo just got five gorillas that have moved in. I'm waiting for the newness to die down a bit because I hear the zoo is overcrowded with people seeking to take a long peek at the animals. As soon as it does, I'm so there. Muy Excited! I so love exotic animals.

Maybe I should get a job at the zoo!?

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!