6:02 PM - Sunday, Feb. 29, 2004
"Are you okay?.... Are you sure that's what you want?"
I've been sick almost all weekend. Yesterday I spent the day sleeping, watching a movie, and whimpering for my mommy. Today wasn't much different. I only wish the illness gods had allowed me to be sick during the work week instead of over the weekend: my only free time these days.
Friday night I babysat my niece and nephew. For the first time I called somebody to talk too while babysitting. I couldn't help it. I missed him. We ended up talking all night to each other, just as we have done for so many nights over the last two weeks.
I met David the night before Valentine's Day. We were discussing what songs would be great to have sex too. He amused me, and I found him to be fun to chat with. Something about the way he expressed himself made me like him right away. That's why I couldn't help but ask him if he'd be my valentine. He said, "yes," of course. And the rest is history.
There are so many things I like about him. And I have to admit that what I like most so far is the way he makes me feel... the things he says to me sincerely. I can't get enough of him when he tells me out of the blue how cute I am, or the way he honestly asks me how I feel about things. I think he completely won me over when he asked me, "Are you okay?" after my most recent episode at work with Greg. Three simple words, one easy question. "Are you okay?" Nobody's ever asked me that before about anything. Well, not to where it felt as if they really meant to ask it. That's when I knew, you know... when I knew that I wanted to take a chance on him.
He tells me often that he likes me. I love to hear those words. Not only are they reassuring but they feel good. And I like him too. I really do. I love how we share the same taste in music (which basically covers almost all genres). I love how he loves to travel and go places.. and do things exciting. He makes me want to live life, to go and do those exciting things. And I love how he loves his family just as much as I love mine.. and how he spoke so wonderfully and kindly to my niece Megan over the phone Friday night. I can't express what an impression that made on me. It was huge, though. It was gigantic! I knew. I just knew. Here is a man who would make a wonderful father someday, someone who would be a loving husband. And the thought scared me a bit, but in a good way. I mean, after all.. it's been two weeks and he's already my valentine and "pretend husband." Are we moving too quickly? I don't know. But I have yet to regret having him as a part of my life.
I told him he was a nice guy, and he asked me the oddest question. "Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked. And I replied, "Yes. Yes, of course it is." And then I hesitated. What kind of question was that? And did I really want a nice guy? The question caught me off guard, but I knew the answer immediately. I felt the answer immediately. Six months ago, I wouldn't have known how to answer that question, always finding myself in relationships with men who are only semi-nice. It was almost as if that was all I felt I was good for.. the semi-nice men. But now? I want a nice man. I want him. And if I can't have him, I want one just like him. He's absolutely wonderful.
I can't wait to speak to him again...
