4:23 PM - Sunday, Feb. 08, 2004
Sabrina's Baby Shower
I went to Sabrina's babyshower yesterday. All week I've been dreading it, not sure what to expect when I see my high school best friend pregnant for the first time. I made myself go, though. I think the Prozac helped me. My anxiety levels weren't skyrocketing all over the place this time. When I arrived, Sabrina's husband Steven embraced me in a tight hug, and Sabrina ran out the door to do the same. I have never seen two people more excited to see me in my entire life. It made me feel good inside.
As for Sabrina? She's definitely 8 mos. pregnant. Her stomach is as huge as a watermelon ready to pop. I got to place my hand upon her stomach and feel little Hawk moving around inside her tummy. They're going to call him Hawk because he's part Indian. His first name will be Steven, just like his daddy's. Hawk comes from a combination of family names they wanted to name the little tyke after.
I ended up buying their diaper bag, the baby book, a little stuffed bear, and some of the smaller items on their registry list. They were excited to have gotten the diaper bag and baby book. I'm glad I've put some happiness into their lives. Steven and Sabrina have been though so much negative stuff lately, they need something positive.
Anyhow, I met Sabrina's sister, Shelly, for the first time in ten years. Shelly's so animated and bubbly - she puts you at ease. She had us play the games that all baby showers have - and ironically the amount of tissue paper I guessed that would match up to Sabrina's actual stomach size was dead on. I mean, I literally nailed the mark there. Her entire family's comments? "Leave it to the best friend to know. There must be some psychic connection going on there."
I ended up staying out at Darrel and Elaine's until 12:30 at night. After everybody had left, Sabrina and I sat around talking and we also watched "2 Fast, 2 Furious." Not the best movie ever, but it was fun.
While I was at Sabrina's, she showed me an announcement in the paper. It was a birth announcement for a baby boy born to our high school friend Brandi. She named her son Zachary Joseph. This really got me to thinking. All my friends are A) married, B) married with children, or C) with children and dating. Every single one of them! I'm talking about my high school friends here. Well, my college friends are all the same, too. Except for Carrie. Carrie's not married or with child. But she's more than eager and willing to be somebody's wife and mother. I'm not. I'm not ready yet. I want those things, but I don't want them now. The first thing I thought of when I heard about Brandi and saw Sabrina was, "My god... children are having children." Yet, they aren't children anymore. They are adults now. They're just further along than I am, I guess. I'm not willing to make the sacrafice of my own life for that of a little kid's.
And as for a significant other? Well, yes. That would be extremely nice. I'm ready for that now. I just have to figure out what kind of man I want. I don't want to marry just anyone. I want my significant other to be somebody I can grow with, and never grow tired of loving. I just wish I could find that person. I don't mind being alone, but I'm getting kind of tired of it.
I guess it's on to a new phase in my life: the search for the eternal soulmate. I'm going to have to look into those online dating sites and see if I can meet somebody compatible. Yes, I think that's what I'll do. Now, to just find out which online dating site is worth looking into.
