11:52 AM - Tuesday, Mar. 21, 2006
my scream got lost in a paper cup.
I started this morning with a tremendous headache. It's partially because I keep forgetting my glasses and leaving them at home on the coffee table while working 9-10 hour days helping update the system, partially because I'm stressed out and frustrated, and partially because I'm PMSing.
I called Casey last night and told him I was depressed. He asked if he could call me back later because he was busy watching a movie. Then, when he did call back, he asked me why I was mad at him. Hmmmm.. I wonder why.
And sadly, the hormonal part of me took a bit of it out on Bill already. I wouldn't have been shocked if he quit corresponding with me, but oddly he text messaged me to tell me to relax. I texted him back saying "I told you I was PMSing." He texted back, "Well, ease up." Not sure how to take that one since I can't hear his tone of voice. I texted him back saying, "Sorry. Will do. I'm just frustrated and stressed out with work and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I apologize." He wrote back with a "No Problemo." And I'm leaving it at that for awhile. I don't think I'll contact him again until my hormones are back to normal.. or I'll just let him do the contacting before I ruin any chance of a good friendship with him.
It really helped last night when I texted Cory and told him that I loved him and he texted back, "I know. I love you, too." He was in the middle of a poker tournament in which he took second place out of fifty some people. That's pretty damn good. His best friend Andy took third. Note to self: don't ever play poker against these two, especially strip poker.
He called me after the tournament and we talked for about an hour about all sorts of stuff. He helped me calm down enough to go to sleep. Sometimes he knows me too well. I swear, I don't know what I'd do without his friendship. We've put each other through hell, yet we seem to survive hell and thrive.
Ryan shaved his head bald. I think he looks awesome. I love it so much better than his long hair. Could be because I love bald/shaved men, but I think it looks real good on him. I hope he keeps his head like that.
I downloaded some Tracy Chapman songs last night. I was watching Related and at the end of the show they featured her song, "Change." I knew it was her because she has a distinct voice nobody else has. That's what I love about singers and artists. I love it when they have a sound nobody else has.. when they don't sound like all the other musicians and singers out there. I looked it up on iTunes and decided I needed it pronto. I've always loved her song "Fast Car" because it hits me somewhere deep inside. I think it's because the first time I ever heard the song I was living with my grandpa right after my grandma had died...
Pretty soon, I'm going to have to come in here and just BITCH about the new system because I really need to get this frustration and stress out of me. I think a lot of it is because I haven't been able to go work out for almost a week now and that's really messing me up emotionally.
Anyhow, I need to go create a 'To Do' list in my My Space account blog area. I'm going to strike the things out as I do them.
Random Fact About Jessica: If I measured it right, my hair is over a foot long. It's a ruler plus two inches. Not long enough yet... but it grew three inches last month alone.
