5:38 AM - Monday, Dec. 04, 2006
feel each blade of green beneath your feet
Once again, I can't sleep. I feel slight pains pushing against my ovaries like a dozen needles and pins poking and prodding. They come and go off and on during the day, and I never know exactly when one will hit. Don't mind me. I don't sit around and wait for the pain to happen. It's also not as bad as I make it sound; or maybe it is and I'm just getting used to it.
My sister was in a car accident yesterday morning. She was turning left at some intersection when some car ran the red light and plowed into her vehicle. Fortunately nobody was hurt and the man has insurance. More than enough eye witnesses and the man himself faulted him for the wreck. It's going to take about two weeks to get her vehicle fixed. In the meantime, she's going to be driving my trailblazer and I'll be driving the jeep. It's probably a good thing that for one of those two weeks, I'll be in Boston.
Speaking of Boston, there are only eight days left until I fly out. Eight days! I'm extremely excited, but I'm also extremely nervous still. Perhaps deep down I am expecting more even though I try very hard not to expect anything of anyone. I really like CM. He stimulates my mind and we share a lot of the same beliefs. He's also extremely quick witted and I find myself enjoying the banter we share back and forth. Maybe I fear that after we meet in Boston it will preclude the end of our friendship, something I don't want happening at all.
I'm sitting at my desk and it's almost 6:00 AM now. Haley's curled up on top with her face buried in one of my many books. Comet sat down on the mouse for a moment and the browser went a little haywire there. She's jumped off and is attempting to grab her toy from underneath the shelves where it's stuck. It's probably the cap to my water bottle. I swear she finds more amusement in such things than she does her actual cat toys. So it goes, right? So it goes.
I haven't spoken to Cory in awhile. Twice I have called him to talk when I needed to talk to someone and both times he never returned my phone call until days later. I also have a feeling that he's stewing over the fact that I didn't call him on his birthday. I was thinking about him that day, but I was busy with other things. I let it escape me. I wonder if I did so on purpose. After all, when it came to my birthday, he called me that morning but the entire conversation revolved around Tessa. He never called me later that day to say anything, either. And as much as I'd hate to admit it, I wonder if I failed to call him out of my own selfish spite.
On a brighter note, my friend Magnus from Sweden has joined My Space just for me. It's the first time I have seen a picture of him and I must admit he looks nothing like I expected. What was I expecting? Honestly, I don't know, but he's a lot cuter than I imagined. I'm sure I'm the exact opposite than what he was expecting, but we won't go there. I'm not about to turn this blog into a pity party over my looks. Anyhow, we spoke with each other practically all weekend. There was a poem of mine that he enjoyed immensely and he's never forgotten the lines from it. Whenever I speak to him online, he's always "wearing" those lines. Do you know how good it feels to know that somebody remembers something as little as that about you and holds onto it because it's affected him/her? And while we're at it, he even told me that the only reason he chats in a certain place is so that he can run into me. I'm flattered, but I'm scared of allowing my ego to be affected by the sweetness he bestows upon me.
I can't take compliments worth anything. They usually make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I don't know why. I have no problems complimenting people and meaning them, but when they compliment me I feel odd.
Well, enough about that. It's now eight minutes past six AM and I need to go get ready for the day.
Happy Belated Birthday, Davy! I hope turning 30 was an amazing experience for you. Io Ti Amo, Bello!
