1:46 PM - Tuesday, Jan. 18, 2005
My poor poor kitty.
I feel emotionally drained. I never thought that I could love something so much that losing her would make me grieve this much. I have to admit that this morning was easier than yesterday. I woke up and lay in bed for awhile just dazing off and staring blankly at the wall. I didn't start to cry until I went to the cupboard to get my pills out. I feel rather silly for grieving my pet this way in front of so many people here at work, but little do they realize that cat was like my child. She was a huge part of my life. Plus, I've always been an animal person, an animal lover.. more sensitive to them than anything else in the world.
But for now, I have to put on a happy face. It's my mother's 56th birthday. We're meeting at my sister Angie's house for dinner, cake and presents. It will be nice to be surrounded by family right now. My family thinks I'll get two cats to take away the empty void in my home right now. While, I can't imagine ever replacing Ashley... I think that in a month or two, I'll find that I need to fill the emptiness with something. I am motherly at heart, and I'll need to mother somebody. I think that's one of the things that drives me forward in life. To feel needed... to be needed.. to be depended upon.
Anyhow, I have a lot of work to catch up on. I'll be back later.
