9:41 AM - Friday, Feb. 18, 2005
more than I can take
Okay.
I'm sick again. What in the hell is up with that? I have never been this sick in my entire life. My tongue feels swollen. My glands are swollen. My right ear feels as if somebody is sticking a knife into it and twisting it. My temples feel like someone is pressing their fingertips against them and pushing as hard as they possibly can. Everytime I speak, I have to talk with my teeth apart so as to keep them from biting down on the sides of my tongue. I want to scream. No. Actually, I want to go home and sleep this crap off.
It's official. My dad and I are going to the KU vs. K-State basketball game on Wednesday night. Thank you, Mom! I have a feeling she insisted she wanted to go to the Iowa vs. KU game because I've been wanting to see KU play K-State for a very long time. Sure, the Iowa game is supposed to be a better game, but I'm talking about state rivalries here. Hopefully it's a good game. K-State always tries their hardest against KU so sometimes we get a good show from both teams.
I'm able to type a lot today, once again. Mainly because, once again, I have to wait on other people before I can do what I need to do. I can't do my accounts receivable deposit slips until I get all the checks in. I can't clear the ones I have deposited from the W.I.P.'s accounts until G. prints off the statements for me (which he should have done yesterday) or the statements won't appear accurate. I can't file because I have to man the phones. I can't work back in the geological room because I have to man the phones. I can't send out the report I typed up until Brian returns from being out in the field to write the memo he wants to send with it.
And so, here I sit, wasting away once again. The only mental stimulation I'm receiving of any kind comes from this, the word mine puzzle games I do once a day at allstarpuzzles.com, and the game Zuma at msngames.com. I don't want my brain to get mushy. I don't want to end up with alzheimers when I'm older. I need to continuously build up my mind. I could read the rest of my book, but I like to hold onto my novels so I can read them while I'm waiting in line at the bank.
I know I complain a lot about my job. And I know that the amount of money I make for the things I do would be a dream job to some. How many people out there would love to get paid good money to sit on their ass and play games all day? Granted, it's not every day. It's just certain days out of the month. My only problem with it is, the day goes by soooooo slowly, and I feel as if I'm barely accomplishing a thing with my time. I would hate to turn 35 and find myself still working here doing the grunt work for people who don't appreciate me and treat me like I'm the feces of some cockerspaniel left to dry on the neighbor's lawn.
Cory says I'm not assertive enough, that I spend too much time wanting to please everybody that I don't stand up for myself enough. He thinks it's because I hate conflict and confrontation so much, which is completely true. My psychiatrist (who retired on me) even said these same things. I guess I'm either too nice and don't want to hurt others, or maybe my self-esteem really does suck. Who knows?
Thursday nights are my TV night. Starting at 8 PM CST, I have to turn on CBS and watch C.S.I. and Without A Trace. These are the two shows that I neglect to answer or acknowledge the phone for. If someone came to my front door, I'd ignore them too. C.S.I. was good as normal, but last night's Without A Trace was exceptionally awesome. I think they did a whole pun thing off of Paris Hilton (except they made this character actually have an intelligent attitude and mind). It was pretty neat-o, if I do say so myself.
Enough with this. I'm tired. I'll try and get on with my deep thoughts when I'm not feeling so stinking icky.
