10:20 PM - Saturday, Apr. 29, 2006
Am I prone to acquire stalkers?
I had to comment on this in PUBLIC:
Hi jessicaYes we did chat on Yahoo IM before the deadline BUT it was so SHORT and it was only the 1 time that it barely counts.
First of all, dearest Papa Bear... I haven't been on Yahoo IM in weeks because of school. Second, this letter was sent on April 4th, and I just had the chance to check my e-mail. Proof that I have been BUSY! Everybody who knows who I am knows I don't do e-mail. I do send messages back and forth in My Space, though.
That you think you have anorexia does not surprise me at all as I am starting to suspect that you like being sick and ill. There is a term for people who pretend to be sick and crave the attention they get from medical staff.
I don't think I have anorexia. I know I don't. I do have an eating disorder, but it's not anorexia or bulimia. It's called forgetting to eat. If you research the symptoms of victims who have suffered from rape and/or child molestation, you would know that it's very common for women to suffer some form of eating disorder years after the event. I'm not ill. I'm not sick, and I don't pretend to be. What is wrong with me is valid - and I am not giving up my prozac just because you think I'm a fucking pill popper. Prozac saved my life and I don't regret the day I went on the pill. I never will. Now get over it and leave my drugs out of this. I don't know why I'm even attempting to respond to this.
Your addicted to popping pills half of them are probably just placebos.
You on occation stink of self pity and for what? what do you want pity for? you have your own house,car, pets a job and a loving family, you have more then most and yet you still spend your days oozing self pity.
It's occasion. Not Occation. And if I was so full of self-pity, then why am I getting my Masters in a degree that emphasizes on helping people? And if I was so full of self-pity, then why aren't I sitting at home bitching and moaning about my pathetic life? Hello! Can you not read my diary correctly? Maybe I bitch and moan in it to relieve stress, but for the most part life is pretty fucking damn good. Especially since I'm out to IMPROVE my life. I'm not wallowing about in self-pity letting my life pass me by. There's a fucking HUGE difference. HUGE!
So you spend your time doing a job you dislike, work in an enviroment you like and work with people you dislike. So did I and even though I did not leave in a way I wanted to I am far happier now. Moral? If you do not like the job..... LEAVE and find a new job.
Do you want an award? You weren't working for your family. You aren't obligated to be part of the family owned business and help your parents out. Why do you think I went back to school, E.? To get a different job. Hello? If you don't realize that, then shut your mouth when you're talking to me.
Back to this Anorexia thing for a moment, men do not like women who are so skinny that they show ribs, if you want a guy then you have to put on some meat rather then end up looking like some concentration camp inmate. I think your a lot stronger mentaly and in character then you make out to be. I do not even know why i bother as I know that everything I write will be forgotten soon enough and even if its not then nothing will done about it.
I'm not showing ribs. Do you not know me at all? You read my diary and you think you know me, but you obviously don't. If you knew me, you'd know that I'm not starving myself. You'd know that I'm not a pill popper. You'd know that the only pills I take are Prozac and my thyroid medication. And Zyrtec for allergies when they hit me hard. You'd know that I'm average in size and weight... and that I have MEAT on my bones.
I am tired of this I am going to bed and may rant again in another e-mail if I can get bothered to write it..................oh btw xmas cards will still be sent-Name Withheld-
If you're so tired of this then why do you keep trying? You don't know me at all, E. And from the sound of it, you never will because you don't take the time to read the facts. Instead, you prefer to make assumptions. Maybe if you didn't place limitations, expectations or assumptions on our friendship, we wouldn't be having these problems. If you want to be my friend, then quit being such an asshole and just accept me for who I am the way I have always accepted you for who you are.
In other news: gonna be pretty busy the next week or so. I have finals and papers due. Oh, and a group project that I'm presenting on Tuesday about acid burning being done on women who dishoner their families. Plus, it's the busy time of the month at work for me so I'm a bit stressed. Don't expect me to write much unless I'm so stressed out I need to vent.
Talked to my professor on Thursday and she's putting in a good word to the head of the Soc. department about me. I wrote him a letter telling him I'm not going to get straight A's this semester thanks to Stats, but hopefully I'll make it up with my summer class. We shall see where that takes me. Let's just hope that come fall, I'm in the Masters program officially.
I am becoming quite the feminist. I've been researching the history of women in America and religion, and it's really starting to piss me off. Religion that is... and how it has shaped the way past men have treated women - let alone minorities. Once I get done reading a bit more, I'll write something up in here about it.
Baldie is still pissing me off at work. It's a long story. I won't get into it. It will only ruin my weekend. I'll know more on Monday about the situation that's gotten me so frustratingly pissed... so I'm sure I'll be ranting and raving about the new system again very soon. Oh joy. Something to look forward to.
I ordered the Cox bundle and they installed it on Friday morning for me. The Cox guy who hooked me up hit on me while he was connecting my TV to the digital box. I didn't think anything of it until he left me his phone number on my statement. And then he called me later that morning. He got my phone number off the copy of the statement. He called again that afternoon while I was at work and left me a message. Then he called me later that night when I wasn't home. He called me again when I was on the other line with somebody... and then this morning about 7:30 AM he called my house again and woke me up. I didn't answer the line. I mean, who in their right mind calls somebody on a Saturday morning at 7:30 AM????
The guy is starting to freak me the hell out. Sure, I was flattered when he complimented my smile and eyes.. told me he must be dreaming... and said I had a beautiful smile. Who wouldn't be? But god. I never gave him my phone number and I never asked him to call me. I think I went wrong when he was making small talk with me. He asked me if I was married. I told him no. He asked if I had a boyfriend. I told him no. I should have pretended I was taken.
Oh well. If he calls me again, I'll kindly ask him to stop. If he doesn't... well... I think my next move should be to contact Cox and inform them of this.
What do you think? Let me know. I'm a bit confused on how to react to this.
Random fact about Jessica: I can't stand the taste of Spaghetti, but I love lasagna.
