12:04 PM - Wednesday, Nov. 03, 2004
Six for my sorrow....
My niece was born on October 31st at 9:19 PM. She was born with a full head of dark brown hair weighing in at 8 lbs and 14 ounces. She's SO cute!!! And I can't wait to go see her soon. Love that little one to pieces, I do.
I can't believe George Bush won the presidency. Well, I can believe it. I just don't want too. It's not that I have anything against Bush. I don't know the man. I'm sure he's a good guy underneath the political facade, but it kind of pisses me off the way this country votes for presidents, and how the democracy is handled by those politicians people have elected into office. I'm not going to get into it. I don't feel like working myself up over this whole fiasco. I don't even know why I feel trepidation towards the idea that Bush is president for another four years. I didn't feel this trepidation the first four years, so why now? It's the same feeling I get when I'm trying to voice my opinion on something and the older generations won't listen. I hate that feeling.
I also hate the idea that tonight I have to attend a meeting for my Homeowner's Association. Sure, I'm attending it with my grandparents but still... I can't stand the idea of having to go sit and eat dinner with my neighbors, whom I don't even know.. and I'm sure they are wonderful people and extremely nice... but my social anxiety is kicking in for some reason. I think it's the whole idea of having to put on a smile and attempt to make conversation with people. I think my fear stems back to the days when I used to stutter and stumble over my thoughts and couldn't put forth any words worth listening too. And now that I can put together my ideas and formulate some kind of intelligent conversation, I can't shake the memory of sounding like a moron. It's always so much easier to just sit there and smile at somebody, staring them in the eye as they hold a one-sided conversation with you. Maybe if I had more opinions and convictions, or ideas and thoughts that were worth sharing, I wouldn't feel stuck in this predictament. Oh well. I will live through this and get through it okay.
It's getting extremely cold outside. I can feel the air chilling my bones even inside this office building. I'm shivering to death and I'm dressed up in jeans, a long sleeved T-shirt and a jacket. I'm also avoiding my work. I don't want to do it. I know I have to eventually do it, but I'm feeling so lazy lately. I was lazy the entire month of October, too. I wonder if it has anything to do with the weather change.. or maybe I'm just becoming a lazy American. I know what it is. I need a long vacation where I can escape EVERYTHING for at least 4 or 5 days.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! I want to go home and I want to go home NOW.
I just looked up the schedule of courses to take for either a Masters in Creative Writing or a Bachelors in Graphic Design. It looks like most of the classes offered are on Tuesdays and Thursdays... which would be okay, I guess. It looks like I'd be taking either a ton of English courses or a ton of art classes. Now to freaking figure out which direction I want to go... and fast. I can't stay here any longer. No. No. No. No. This place is starting to really PISS me off. On the plus side, I don't have to take any general education classes. YAY me!
Okay. Now to get my ass to work before I yank my hair out and scream bloody murder.
