2:37 PM - Wednesday, Jul. 21, 2004
I am weak.....
I can't stop myself. Every single morning, I log into my Diary to see the stats. Every night before I go to bed, I log into my Diary to check the stats. And during the day... I log into the Diary to write a page.
I am weak!
I can't help it. I am thirsty. I know I should be drinking more water and less pop, but its something I can't seem to control. Every morning I go into the breakroom and get myself a can of grape pop. If the grape pop wasn't there, I'd be fine. I know I would. I can keep myself from drinking the Dr. Pepper. I just can't keep myself from craving the grape pop.
I am weak!
He did it again! He brought chocolate into this office. I'm PMSing, and he brought chocolate into this office! Of course, I am supposed to refrain from the sugary sweets... but how can I possibly ignore the chocolate peanut clusters? I can't! I've already had 3 of them.
I am weak!
Cory called me last night. Just hearing his voice turned me on. Of course, he sent me back to bed... and I did fall asleep right away... But still! Cory called me again today, earlier in the afternoon. Once again his voice turned me on. I want him RIGHT NOW!
I am weak!
I feel so bad about how things ended with David. I actually wrote him an e-mail asking him to confirm that everything between us is okay. Most people would be strong enough to drop old relationships like a bad habit, but not me. No, I have to befriend all my exes - or at least make sure there are no qualms between us. He hasn't written me back yet, and I have an odd feeling he never will because I'm pretty sure the fact that I demanded "closure" from him pissed him off pretty bad... but at least I tried to make amends.
I am weak!
Reaching enlightment and following the Buddhist ways is harder than it seems.
I am weak.
